








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3125 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5270 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2637 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3162 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,709,626 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B4ndy | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | Dremimew | 55% | 224 |
| #3 | DavisG | 54% | 121 |
| #4 | FriendlyBoomer | 52% | 130 |
| #5 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dremimew | 55% | 224 |
| #3 | DavisG | 54% | 121 |
| #4 | FriendlyBoomer | 52% | 130 |
| #5 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | RedneckHutch | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | FriendlyBoomer | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | RedneckHutch | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | DavisG | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | 580 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | FriendlyBoomer | 445 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | DavisG | 130 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | RedneckHutch | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | +2.44 | 64 | 63 |
| #2 | Honus | +1.56 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | RedneckHutch | +0.24 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | DavisG | -1.07 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | FriendlyBoomer | -1.21 | 31 | 70 |





