








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 995 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches | ||
| Faceit | 285 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9810 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9961 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7786 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6579 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,525,820 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | Dremimew | 52% | 221 |
| #3 | Honus | 52% | 130 |
| #4 | RedneckHutch | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | Dremimew | 52% | 221 |
| #3 | Honus | 52% | 130 |
| #4 | RedneckHutch | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | RedneckHutch | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Honus | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | 615 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Honus | 280 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | RedneckHutch | 177 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dremimew | +2.27 | 60 | 61 |
| #2 | Honus | +1.20 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | RedneckHutch | +0.44 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ₥ØØ₦ | +0.08 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | FriendlyBoomer | -0.48 | 33 | 70 |





