








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1809 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 974 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1466 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,809 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsunade | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Girr | 51% | 126 |
| #3 | sharpy | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | efaR | 45% | 98 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsunade | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Girr | 51% | 126 |
| #3 | sharpy | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | efaR | 45% | 98 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharpy | 12 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | efaR | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Tsunade | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Girr | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efaR | 759 | 0.37 | 20 min |
| #2 | Girr | 614 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | sharpy | 419 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #4 | LEWDOG | 157 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tsunade | 101 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEWDOG | +2.54 | 90 | 76 |
| #2 | Tsunade | +1.66 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | sharpy | +0.79 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | efaR | +0.55 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Girr | -0.09 | 66 | 55 |





