








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7795 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6600 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1747 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 6314 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,331 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | super gremlin | 70% | 46 |
| #2 | sharpy | 53% | 90 |
| #3 | Furious | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | efaR | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | efaR | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | iiTrixo | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | Joker | 45% | 55 |
| #8 | RA!DEN | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Furious | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sharpy | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Joker | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | efaR | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | LEWDOG | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Furious | 644 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | efaR | 592 | 0.38 | 16 min |
| #3 | sharpy | 518 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #4 | LEWDOG | 362 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #5 | RA!DEN | 195 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEWDOG | +3.08 | 92 | 77 |
| #2 | super gremlin | +1.55 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | Joker | +1.08 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | sharpy | +0.78 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | efaR | +0.72 | 68 | 66 |





