








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2856 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1662 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1402 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1599 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $508,882 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Girr | 53% | 90 |
| #2 | LEWDOG | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Tsunade | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | Furious | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | efaR | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | efaR | 601 | 0.37 | 15 min |
| #2 | Girr | 394 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Furious | 351 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | LEWDOG | 272 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tsunade | 260 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LEWDOG | +2.64 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | Tsunade | +0.95 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | sharpy | +0.77 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | efaR | +0.38 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | Furious | -1.07 | 56 | 50 |





