








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 150 | 3% |
| Smokes | 877 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,244 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I know your mom`s name | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | 0wnz | 74% | 39 |
| #3 | LORD GUZLIK | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | kabakok | 55% | 119 |
| #5 | okkkooka | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТАЙСКАЯ СМОЛА | 44 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Perry The Platypus | 31 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | kabakok | 19 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | Rikka | 10 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 183 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | kabakok | 171 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | tutama | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | 0wnz | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | LORD GUZLIK | 78 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rider | +3.01 | 79 | 22 |
| #2 | kabakok | +2.71 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | 0wnz | +2.30 | 61 | 74 |
| #4 | okkkooka | -0.13 | 59 | 38 |
| #5 | Perry The Platypus | -0.38 | 44 | 31 |





