








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 586 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1376 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 351 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,746 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LORD GUZLIK | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | kabakok | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Rider | 48% | 115 |
| #5 | ТАЙСКАЯ СМОЛА | 45% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ТАЙСКАЯ СМОЛА | 45% | 232 |
| #6 | ВТОРАЯ СИСЯ | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Rikka | 39% | 87 |
| #8 | tutama | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | okkkooka | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТАЙСКАЯ СМОЛА | 73 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | LORD GUZLIK | 22 | 0.0218 |
| #3 | Rider | 19 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Rikka | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | kabakok | 5 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LORD GUZLIK | 154 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | ТАЙСКАЯ СМОЛА | 114 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 64 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | kabakok | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | tutama | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rider | +4.35 | 77 | 24 |
| #2 | kabakok | +2.55 | 66 | 37 |
| #3 | Perry The Platypus | +1.16 | 44 | 32 |
| #4 | okkkooka | -0.23 | 75 | 36 |
| #5 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | -0.56 | 34 | 69 |





