








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12471 | 31% |
| Smokes | 12626 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8128 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7014 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,607,511 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1070 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuaLiTi06 | 20 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Techies rework was a mistake | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | MakiattoSihaya | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | nom | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuaLiTi06 | 2447 | 0.28 | 57 min |
| #2 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 999 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | duc1eee_Ti | 495 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | nom | 470 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | BAZINGAAA | 464 | 0.13 | 11 min |





