








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1993 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2518 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1890 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,594 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | QuaLiTi06 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | MakiattoSihaya | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | nom | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 1161 | 0.32 | 33 min |
| #2 | QuaLiTi06 | 604 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 294 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | duc1eee_Ti | 137 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | SALT DISTRIBUTOR | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |





