








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5183 | 18% |
| Smokes | 9940 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 6475 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6826 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,545,275 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 1105 | 0.31 | 29 min |
| #2 | SALT DISTRIBUTOR | 1068 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #3 | QuaLiTi06 | 640 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #4 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 420 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | ROGRekles | 348 | 0.08 | 8 min |





