








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1897 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,223 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | QuaLiTi06 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ✪ Sheryl - /Hawt Criminal/ - | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | nom | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 1086 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #2 | QuaLiTi06 | 528 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 263 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | MakiattoSihaya | 114 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | nom | 99 | 0.13 | 2 min |





