








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4316 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3467 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3235 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3510 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,760 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | iQQ. | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | F!N*-* RinaLaLeaf | 59% | 90 |
| #4 | »ℒisza (♛)» | 57% | 136 |
| #5 | [Tp:B] ☾︎⭐️ **Яe∂a♡ | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Annex | 52% | 174 |
| #11 | chrizz | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | hansmeister2000 | 47% | 92 |
| #13 | robznetix | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | K A Z 4 K | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Annex | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | iQQ. | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | »ℒisza (♛)» | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | hansmeister2000 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | LowBudget- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »ℒisza (♛)» | 729 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | Annex | 475 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | F!N*-* RinaLaLeaf | 384 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | hansmeister2000 | 264 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | LowBudget- | 203 | 0.11 | 7 min |





