








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 21% |
| Smokes | 512 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,524 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finchy | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | Connor | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Beard | 63% | 57 |
| #4 | RyCrow | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Bofferz | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Beard | 63% | 57 |
| #4 | RyCrow | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Bofferz | 59% | 59 |
| #6 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 57% | 56 |
| #7 | afr0001[b] | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bofferz | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Beard | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | RyCrow | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beard | 181 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bofferz | 171 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 171 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | afr0001[b] | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | RyCrow | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finchy | +2.17 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | +1.26 | 58 | 69 |
| #3 | Bofferz | +0.58 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | afr0001[b] | +0.15 | 71 | 41 |
| #5 | Beard | -0.03 | 37 | 66 |





