








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1532 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1945 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1826 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,642 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finchy | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | afr0001[b] | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Beard | 61% | 127 |
| #4 | Bofferz | 60% | 128 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Beard | 61% | 127 |
| #4 | Bofferz | 60% | 128 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | Connor | 56% | 32 |
| #7 | RyCrow | 55% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beard | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Bofferz | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | RyCrow | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | afr0001[b] | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beard | 309 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bofferz | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Finchy | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | afr0001[b] | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | 1zeej | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finchy | +2.02 | 61 | 66 |
| #2 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | +1.97 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | afr0001[b] | +1.02 | 66 | 38 |
| #4 | RyCrow | +0.33 | 59 | 47 |
| #5 | Bofferz | +0.08 | 58 | 57 |





