








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 525 | 19% |
| Smokes | 414 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1367 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,341 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afr0001[b] | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | 1zeej | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Finchy | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Connor | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Beard | 56% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Finchy | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Connor | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Beard | 56% | 90 |
| #6 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 55% | 91 |
| #7 | Bofferz | 53% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beard | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Bofferz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | 1zeej | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | afr0001[b] | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 282 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Beard | 237 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bofferz | 235 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Finchy | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1zeej | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afr0001[b] | +1.53 | 68 | 29 |
| #2 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | +1.47 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | Finchy | +0.85 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | Bofferz | -0.03 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | Beard | -0.26 | 37 | 65 |





