








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1323 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1376 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,335 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afr0001[b] | 75% | 68 |
| #2 | Connor | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | Finchy | 64% | 50 |
| #4 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 60% | 128 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 60% | 128 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 59% | 59 |
| #6 | Aah General Kenobi | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | Beard | 58% | 139 |
| #8 | RyCrow | 53% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beard | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | afr0001[b] | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | RyCrow | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | 1zeej | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | 363 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Beard | 349 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | afr0001[b] | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Finchy | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1zeej | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatNotSoWeirdBeard | +2.07 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | Finchy | +1.88 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | afr0001[b] | +1.46 | 68 | 40 |
| #4 | Bofferz | +0.12 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | Aah General Kenobi | -0.06 | 76 | 67 |





