








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4776 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3808 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2785 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,463 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Toxic Kasai | 44% | 109 |
| #11 | Wade Wilson | 44% | 98 |
| #12 | viper | 42% | 90 |
| #13 | GHOST | 42% | 100 |
| #14 | Shiftwalker Teja | 40% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecOPS Ultra | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | GHOST | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | _Ex6TenZ_ | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Toxic Kasai | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Shiftwalker Teja | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecOPS Ultra | 589 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | GHOST | 340 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | HughJass | 242 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shiftwalker Teja | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | _Ex6TenZ_ | 176 | 0.08 | 3 min |





