








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4971 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7089 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3263 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5129 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,663,048 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | GHOST | 48% | 105 |
| #11 | SpecOPS Ultra | 43% | 154 |
| #12 | SpeedyRogue | 43% | 47 |
| #13 | Shiftwalker Teja | 42% | 104 |
| #14 | viper | 38% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecOPS Ultra | 425 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | GHOST | 353 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Shiftwalker Teja | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | HughJass | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | $l@yer13 | 176 | 0.12 | 5 min |





