








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7206 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4801 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4890 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4923 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,403 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabka malik ek | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | HughJass | 58% | 81 |
| #3 | EgLeO | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | $l@yer13 | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Toxic Kasai | 41% | 91 |
| #14 | Wade Wilson | 40% | 89 |
| #15 | SpeedyRogue | 39% | 38 |
| #16 | Shiftwalker Teja | 36% | 96 |
| #17 | KINGK ツ♡♛ | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecOPS Ultra | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Sabio | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | _Ex6TenZ_ | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | _SuperPotato_ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Wade Wilson | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpecOPS Ultra | 345 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Shiftwalker Teja | 256 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | _Ex6TenZ_ | 182 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | $l@yer13 | 169 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | HughJass | 166 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabka malik ek | +4.53 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | HughJass | +3.07 | 86 | 50 |
| #3 | Sabio | +2.43 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | _SuperPotato_ | +2.32 | 88 | 50 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | +1.83 | 63 | 61 |





