








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 209 matches | 1,811 | |
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2548 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2770 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2742 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $812,245 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mercedes enjoyer | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | nasse | 49% | 39 |
| #6 | kelz | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Munkkkk) | 45% | 137 |
| #8 | zke | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | +4.01 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | midv4L ツ | +1.14 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | mercedes enjoyer | +0.92 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | Phayy'' | +0.74 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | devoti | +0.69 | 72 | 52 |





