










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 77 matches | 1,620 | |
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 842 | 26% |
| Smokes | 803 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 844 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 724 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,968 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devoti | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | nasse | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Munkkkk) | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | Phayy'' | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devoti | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | nasse | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Munkkkk) | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | Phayy'' | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercedes enjoyer | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Phayy'' | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | devoti | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munkkkk) | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Phayy'' | 56 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | mercedes enjoyer | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | nasse | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | devoti | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | +3.98 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | +2.72 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | devoti | +2.19 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | Munkkkk) | +1.09 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | Phayy'' | +0.53 | 70 | 61 |





