








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,766 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,442 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercedes enjoyer | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Phayy'' | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Munkkkk) | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | zke | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercedes enjoyer | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Phayy'' | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Munkkkk) | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | zke | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zke | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Munkkkk) | 5 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Phayy'' | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zke | 165 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Munkkkk) | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Phayy'' | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | mercedes enjoyer | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mercedes enjoyer | +0.94 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | devoti | +0.54 | 78 | 52 |
| #3 | zke | +0.54 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | Munkkkk) | +0.36 | 89 | 61 |
| #5 | Phayy'' | -0.70 | 63 | 64 |





