








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 150 matches | 2,136 | |
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1713 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1213 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 880 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,072 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 731 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kelz | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | zacke | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Munkkkk) | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | lovesosa | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | zke | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Munkkkk) | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | lovesosa | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | zke | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | Phayy'' | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | CharLees | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munkkkk) | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | zke | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | lovesosa | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munkkkk) | 275 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | zke | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | zacke | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Phayy'' | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | lovesosa | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | +3.88 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | zacke | +0.26 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | lovesosa | +0.07 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | zke | -0.22 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | CharLees | -0.75 | 78 | 66 |





