








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 311 matches | ||
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2614 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3638 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3258 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2927 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,597,536 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0vs3ジ | 55% | 80 |
| #2 | Fanforek | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | SK | 49% | 347 |
| #4 | Urban_6 | 48% | 251 |
| #5 | Yuuki | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SK | 49% | 347 |
| #4 | Urban_6 | 48% | 251 |
| #5 | Yuuki | 45% | 44 |
| #6 | spermstein | 45% | 152 |
| #7 | Kappy | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SK | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | spermstein | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Fanforek | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Urban_6 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | 0vs3ジ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SK | 1459 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | spermstein | 381 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Urban_6 | 319 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fanforek | 223 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | 0vs3ジ | 157 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 321 | +1.64 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | Fanforek | +1.33 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | SK | -0.02 | 74 | 70 |
| #4 | Yuuki | -0.20 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Kappy | -0.83 | 42 | 65 |





