








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1650 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2071 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1897 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,770 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pASHATRICEPs | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | d e r p s y | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | Warranted thug | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Told Bro We Geek Hard | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | syper | 58% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Maverick | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | Killj0y | 53% | 131 |
| #9 | Ne4Lackin | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | linK | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | supyrk | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syper | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | JoeyTheBiggest | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Killj0y | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Warranted thug | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | linK | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syper | 878 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | JoeyTheBiggest | 751 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #3 | Killj0y | 556 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | linK | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Told Bro We Geek Hard | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rose | +2.04 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | syper | +0.84 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | JoeyTheBiggest | +0.48 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | linK | +0.30 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | pASHATRICEPs | +0.19 | 73 | 65 |





