








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1285 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1978 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2274 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,158 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | syper | 50% | 105 |
| #6 | Warranted thug | 50% | 160 |
| #7 | JoeyTheBiggest | 48% | 66 |
| #8 | Ne4Lackin | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | Maverick | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyTheBiggest | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | syper | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Warranted thug | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | justwipedouttomatotown | 6 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | Killj0y | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syper | 517 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | JoeyTheBiggest | 427 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #3 | Warranted thug | 321 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Killj0y | 227 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | rose | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rose | +3.18 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | justwipedouttomatotown | +2.77 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | JoeyTheBiggest | +1.79 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | syper | +1.29 | 79 | 75 |
| #5 | Ne4Lackin | +0.89 | 60 | 60 |





