








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6164 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4252 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3713 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4639 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,471 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pASHATRICEPs | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | O C A H H S | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | ✪ Vitality | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Johno_ | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | Hoba | 60% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | linK | 51% | 57 |
| #12 | Told Bro We Geek Hard | 50% | 105 |
| #13 | Maverick | 48% | 54 |
| #14 | supyrk | 42% | 57 |
| #15 | Ne4Lackin | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyTheBiggest | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Killj0y | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | linK | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hoba | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | rose | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeyTheBiggest | 1535 | 0.25 | 42 min |
| #2 | Killj0y | 1112 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #3 | rose | 353 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | linK | 201 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Told Bro We Geek Hard | 199 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O C A H H S | +2.16 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | rose | +1.93 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | syper | +1.62 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | ✪ Vitality | +0.70 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | JoeyTheBiggest | +0.58 | 80 | 65 |





