








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 48% |
| Smokes | 283 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 648 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,336 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pawki | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Ashley | 48% | 54 |
| #10 | XyoBunBun | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | Brie | 45% | 56 |
| #12 | Crowo | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashley | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Kiska | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | #1 Overpass Hater | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Brie | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 659 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #2 | ryan | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | #1 Overpass Hater | 91 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Brie | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | pawki | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |





