








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 998 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,190 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1_P3R | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | No Creativity | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | r2scal | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | The G-String Dropper | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | projectdp | 63% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Lupin | 49% | 68 |
| #12 | FlatPepsi | 48% | 86 |
| #13 | Haunt | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | ECNERWAL666 | 42% | 12 |
| #15 | RancidRigatoni | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlatPepsi | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | TrueKillah | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | projectdp | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | The G-String Dropper | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | r2scal | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlatPepsi | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lupin | 75 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | ุุุBAREFOOTER | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Summer | 53 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | TrueKillah | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1_P3R | +9.70 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | BigZaddyJohn | +4.57 | 60 | 22 |
| #3 | projectdp | +2.15 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | Haunt | +1.65 | 38 | 44 |
| #5 | h3ndr1x | +0.88 | 39 | 44 |





