








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2254 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4314 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3955 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,314 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzaHeko | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | NightMearMoon | 49% | 186 |
| #3 | dragonlordisaac | 48% | 80 |
| #4 | Girthquake | 47% | 219 |
| #5 | Sirgoodman | 44% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dragonlordisaac | 48% | 80 |
| #4 | Girthquake | 47% | 219 |
| #5 | Sirgoodman | 44% | 289 |
| #6 | gibsom | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | Starshiptrooper | 38% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Girthquake | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Starshiptrooper | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | NightMearMoon | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Sirgoodman | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | dragonlordisaac | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NightMearMoon | 319 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Starshiptrooper | 224 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Girthquake | 159 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sirgoodman | 106 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | dragonlordisaac | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prosnax | +4.10 | 48 | 51 |
| #2 | NightMearMoon | -0.15 | 35 | 41 |
| #3 | dragonlordisaac | -1.23 | 71 | 27 |
| #4 | ItzaHeko | -2.36 | 27 | 34 |
| #5 | Girthquake | -2.58 | 28 | 36 |





