








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 957 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1792 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1739 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,669 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | prosnax | 38% | 259 |
| #4 | Sirgoodman | 38% | 209 |
| #5 | Girthquake | 35% | 110 |
| #6 | NightMearMoon | 33% | 86 |
| #7 | gibsom | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prosnax | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Sirgoodman | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Girthquake | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | NightMearMoon | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | dragonlordisaac | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prosnax | 299 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | NightMearMoon | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Girthquake | 85 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sirgoodman | 70 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | dragonlordisaac | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |





