










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Jura | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2942 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1789 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1332 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,265 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b4m' | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | ryne | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | hayek | 81% | 42 |
| #4 | RickG | 71% | 31 |
| #5 | PerX | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | i7homas | 61% | 90 |
| #8 | Petschiie | 61% | 76 |
| #9 | UnderTaker | 58% | 12 |
| #10 | 橡膠 McRubber 橡膠 | 56% | 41 |
| #11 | FritzFantom | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerX | 8 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | zasser | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | i7homas | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Petschiie | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | RickG | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zasser | 375 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | i7homas | 186 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | RickG | 180 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | hayek | 177 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Petschiie | 158 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerX | +7.08 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | zasser | +4.52 | 89 | 64 |
| #3 | HadeZ | +4.15 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | RickG | +2.60 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | hayek | +0.65 | 57 | 75 |





