








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9530 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7620 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7139 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6718 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,103,057 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sasha | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | 𝙨𝙖𝙢.𝙢𝙪 | 65% | 69 |
| #3 | lucky not botak | 56% | 114 |
| #4 | meepupu | 56% | 212 |
| #5 | 猎刚猪 | 55% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | meepupu | 56% | 212 |
| #5 | 猎刚猪 | 55% | 96 |
| #6 | Wukong | 54% | 114 |
| #7 | lucida | 49% | 53 |
| #8 | fuyu | 49% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wukong | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | 猎刚猪 | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | lucida | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | meepupu | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | fuyu | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meepupu | 828 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Wukong | 441 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | 𝙨𝙖𝙢.𝙢𝙪 | 346 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | fuyu | 320 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | 猎刚猪 | 303 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wukong | +1.53 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | gorf | +1.27 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | 𝙨𝙖𝙢.𝙢𝙪 | +1.21 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Sasha | +1.19 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | 猎刚猪 | +0.74 | 63 | 71 |





