








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2297 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2393 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1255 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2044 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,829 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.killem | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | ShAkin | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | stalver_01 | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | jimmy! | 55% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | jimmy! | 55% | 124 |
| #6 | Big D | 54% | 202 |
| #7 | DeTerrence | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | cpredsox | 46% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy! | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Big D | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | stalver_01 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | cpredsox | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | mr.killem | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big D | 507 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | jimmy! | 287 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | cpredsox | 286 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | stalver_01 | 91 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | DeTerrence | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | +2.15 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | MetalGearJesus | +1.25 | 62 | 56 |
| #3 | Big D | +0.88 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | cpredsox | -0.16 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | ShAkin | -0.65 | 72 | 59 |





