








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5512 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3196 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3671 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,967,162 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petr11 | 55% | 124 |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 52% | 140 |
| #3 | Big D | 50% | 394 |
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | ShAkin | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Big D | 50% | 394 |
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | ShAkin | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | cpredsox | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | DeTerrence | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big D | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Petr11 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ShAkin | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big D | 989 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 285 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Petr11 | 233 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | cpredsox | 224 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | DeTerrence | 127 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | +1.16 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | ShAkin | +0.80 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | Big D | +0.70 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | cpredsox | +0.20 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | MetalGearJesus | -0.13 | 58 | 60 |





