








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2499 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2493 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2783 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2903 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,209 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 966 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | Petr11 | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | DeTerrence | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Big D | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Petr11 | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | DeTerrence | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Big D | 52% | 63 |
| #6 | jimmy! | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Dre. | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy! | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Big D | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dre. | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Petr11 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big D | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | jimmy! | 117 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | stalver_01 | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | DeTerrence | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dre. | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | +1.87 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | MetalGearJesus | +1.40 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | stalver_01 | +1.23 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | DeTerrence | +0.34 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | Petr11 | -0.04 | 64 | 62 |





