








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 773 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9279 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10079 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8101 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7664 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,444,574 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | 54% | 331 |
| #2 | Petr11 | 54% | 202 |
| #3 | MetalGearJesus | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | ShAkin | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | cpredsox | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MetalGearJesus | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | ShAkin | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | cpredsox | 51% | 114 |
| #6 | jimmy! | 50% | 394 |
| #7 | DeTerrence | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | jimmy! | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | cpredsox | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ShAkin | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Petr11 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy! | 985 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | stalver_01 | 674 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | cpredsox | 414 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | Petr11 | 366 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | MetalGearJesus | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | +0.93 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | ShAkin | +0.70 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Big D | +0.31 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | MetalGearJesus | +0.01 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | cpredsox | -0.40 | 67 | 61 |





