








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3716 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4036 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3595 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2505 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,719 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rist | 68% | 60 |
| #2 | Karma δΈε | 63% | 145 |
| #3 | forever | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | Alzheimer Gaming | Nalax | 62% | 47 |
| #5 | Mattynator | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimzalabim | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | mikey | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Kyrill | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | forever | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | rist | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma δΈε | 754 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | zimzalabim | 700 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | mikey | 369 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | forever | 260 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | rist | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loso | +2.43 | 69 | 72 |
| #2 | Karma δΈε | +1.87 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | forever | +1.35 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | zimzalabim | +1.25 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | Korniee | +0.38 | 73 | 65 |





