








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5448 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3708 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3778 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3360 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,871 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laser | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Needi | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Loso | 58% | 147 |
| #4 | forever | 56% | 86 |
| #5 | mikey | 55% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma δΈε | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | rist | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | neon | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Needi | 5 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | mikey | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma δΈε | 813 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | mikey | 539 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | neon | 427 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #4 | Loso | 423 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | forever | 383 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma δΈε | +1.53 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | zimzalabim | +1.47 | 53 | 67 |
| #3 | Korniee | +1.14 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Loso | +0.89 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | forever | +0.86 | 70 | 69 |





