








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3203 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2180 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1885 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1894 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,419 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laser | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Needi | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | rist | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | neon | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Loso | 57% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | zimzalabim | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | rist | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Needi | 5 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | Kyrill | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimzalabim | 698 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | Karma δΈε | 648 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | Loso | 305 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | neon | 301 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | forever | 230 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meexz | +3.29 | 84 | 41 |
| #2 | Karma δΈε | +2.12 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Loso | +1.97 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | zimzalabim | +1.75 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | Laser | +0.79 | 71 | 46 |





