








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1014 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2420 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3510 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2909 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2340 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,707,544 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puubo | 65% | 110 |
| #2 | JERESUH | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | Rohis | 58% | 219 |
| #4 | Koutsi | 57% | 184 |
| #5 | 70 hp club soon | 57% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hirvi | 54% | 157 |
| #9 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 53% | 130 |
| #10 | denis | 53% | 70 |
| #11 | Unlucky | 53% | 59 |
| #12 | Poika | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 70 hp club soon | 760 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Rohis | 528 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | Koutsi | 299 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Unlucky | 287 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | puubo | 263 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unlucky | +3.68 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | 70 hp club soon | +2.15 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | puubo | +1.59 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | dk | +1.03 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Dolmius | +0.69 | 61 | 55 |





