








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3554 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2537 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2933 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1990 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,861 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Unlucky | 51% | 57 |
| #9 | dk | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | Hirvi | 50% | 118 |
| #11 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 47% | 81 |
| #12 | WASDA MASTA | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rohis | 505 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | 70 hp club soon | 448 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Unlucky | 294 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Koutsi | 205 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hirvi | 200 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unlucky | +4.22 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | 70 hp club soon | +2.13 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | puubo | +1.19 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | Dolmius | +1.18 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | dk | +0.45 | 59 | 61 |





