








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4150 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3913 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4805 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3928 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,629,734 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | Koutsi | 67% | 61 |
| #3 | Hirvi | 61% | 93 |
| #4 | Dolmius | 57% | 186 |
| #5 | puubo | 54% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rohis | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | puubo | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Unlucky | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | WASDA MASTA | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dolmius | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rohis | 801 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | Unlucky | 552 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | puubo | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dolmius | 269 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hirvi | 149 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unlucky | +3.85 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | 70 hp club soon | +1.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | dk | +0.67 | 61 | 54 |
| #4 | Koutsi | +0.20 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | puubo | +0.11 | 71 | 64 |





