








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1034 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 424 matches | ||
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3971 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5404 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5190 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2462 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,593,958 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 50% | 464 |
| #8 | Poika | 48% | 97 |
| #9 | Hirvi | 48% | 496 |
| #10 | Pormestari Passe | 44% | 41 |
| #11 | firsber | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Hirvi | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | puubo | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Dolmius | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Rohis | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirvi | 902 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #2 | Pronssinenrakastaja | 415 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rohis | 376 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | puubo | 350 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dolmius | 320 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 70 hp club soon | +2.81 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | puubo | +1.81 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Dolmius | +1.43 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | Pormestari Passe | +0.98 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | Hirvi | +0.14 | 69 | 67 |





