








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 27% |
| Smokes | 756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,448 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ⛧⸸Shane The Ripper⛦💋 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Mags | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | HamsterCrusher13 | 56% | 81 |
| #7 | masterofmurdering666 | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | Killer_Sasquatch | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer_Sasquatch | 3 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | WePreferXe | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mags | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | HamsterCrusher13 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | masterofmurdering666 | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WePreferXe | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | HamsterCrusher13 | 71 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Don't Fear | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | masterofmurdering666 | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mags | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vh | +5.22 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Don't Fear | +1.25 | 42 | 51 |
| #3 | ⛧⸸Shane The Ripper⛦💋 | -0.24 | 71 | 28 |
| #4 | Killer_Sasquatch | -0.82 | 54 | 19 |
| #5 | HamsterCrusher13 | -2.26 | 52 | 45 |





