








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 227 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1190 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 290 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $62,027 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vh | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | WePreferXe | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Killer_Sasquatch | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Don't Fear | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | HamsterCrusher13 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Don't Fear | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | HamsterCrusher13 | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | The Feared | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Ritual Slapper | 20% | 10 |
| #8 | WePreferLatinx | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer_Sasquatch | 11 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | WePreferXe | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | vh | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WePreferXe | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | vh | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | HamsterCrusher13 | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Don't Fear | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Killer_Sasquatch | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vh | +8.17 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Killer_Sasquatch | +3.58 | 69 | 26 |
| #3 | WePreferLatinx | +0.83 | 59 | 33 |
| #4 | Don't Fear | +0.24 | 37 | 75 |
| #5 | HamsterCrusher13 | -0.98 | 52 | 34 |





