








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3137 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2391 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2171 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,818 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vh | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Mags | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Killer_Sasquatch | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | WePreferLatinx | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | The Feared | 45% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HamsterCrusher13 | 45% | 193 |
| #8 | NUTTLADD | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | Ritual Slapper | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | theyworm | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | The Christian Smith Experience | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Feared | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | HamsterCrusher13 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Don't Fear | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Killer_Sasquatch | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Mags | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don't Fear | 349 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | HamsterCrusher13 | 215 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | NUTTLADD | 194 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | The Feared | 84 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | vh | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vh | +6.78 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | Killer_Sasquatch | +1.96 | 66 | 27 |
| #3 | WePreferLatinx | +1.21 | 59 | 38 |
| #4 | Don't Fear | +0.51 | 49 | 61 |
| #5 | HamsterCrusher13 | +0.08 | 63 | 51 |





