








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2982 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4628 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4139 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1882 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,736 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | WePreferXe | 45% | 134 |
| #6 | I Remember Syrup Sandwiches... | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | myr | 37% | 30 |
| #8 | Alexander Hamilton1 | 37% | 30 |
| #9 | POWER SHITTER | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HamsterCrusher13 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | The Feared | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | WePreferXe | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | NUTTLADD | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | I Remember Syrup Sandwiches... | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NUTTLADD | 543 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | WePreferXe | 469 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | HamsterCrusher13 | 253 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | myr | 112 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | I Remember Syrup Sandwiches... | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |





