








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4513 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4884 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3995 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,722,874 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PandaK | 71% | 41 |
| #2 | Lenny | 67% | 61 |
| #3 | MIEZIITS | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | audi peek | 65% | 37 |
| #5 | JurasKaposts <3 | 63% | 30 |





