








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2921 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3764 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3730 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3429 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,675 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uruk Hai | 71% | 41 |
| #2 | JurasKaposts <3 | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | eKs. | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Speķarausīts ツ | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | ezyjs | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezyjs | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | pikkupsoap | 112 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Uruk Hai | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | eKs. | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Speķarausīts ツ | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eKs. | +2.80 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | JurasKaposts <3 | +1.99 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | PandaK | +0.78 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | ezyjs | +0.52 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | Uruk Hai | +0.15 | 58 | 62 |





